Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off -Funny Jokes

 Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said.

"An ambulance just drove by."

A few moments passed.

"Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out.

"Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."

Mom and dad shot up in bed.

"How do you know that?" the startled father asked.

"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.

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She looks into his eyes and says calmly -Funny jokes.

 A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

She says hello.

He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from.

So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor

party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s teacher."

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A Male patient just recovered successfully- Best Funny Jokes

 A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack.

He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed.

An young nurse came to cleanse his body with sponge.

The patient mumbled, “Are my testicles black?”

Nurse replied, “I don’t know Sir, I am just setting you clean”

The patient repeated again, “Are my testicles black?”

Nurse was quite embarrassed to answer the question and said “Sir everything should be OK”

The patient just kept on asking again and again, “Are my testicles black?”

Nurse could not bear a patient concerned so much.

So she raised his gown, moved her hand to find and grab his penis and testicle, moved it all around, checked very closely and suddenly man ejaculated on nurse’s hand.

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, embarrassed at the fiasco says loudly enough, “Ma’am, Thanks but I still need to know 'Are my tests results back?’”

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A young man and his date -funny jokes

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town.

They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
“I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”
The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.
“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.
“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”

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Funny Joke- College

 

Once there was a magical mirror.
When you told the thruth it gave you things, but if you lie to it, it makes you vanish forever.
One day three college girls went to the mirror.
The red head said "I think I'm the smartest one."
Then she got a diploma, scholarship, and got accepted into all the colleges in the world.
The brunette then said "I think I'm the prettiest one."
Then she got a Corvette, mansion, a good looking boyfriend , and a lot of money.
Then the blonde said " I think...*poof*"
Then she suddenly disappeared forever

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Funny Joke- Teacher

 

Teacher and her 3 boy students:

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”

Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”

Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”

Boy 2 laughed…

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”

Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.”

Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.”

Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…

Teacher: “Why are you leaving?”

Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”

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Funny Jokes- student

A student comes to a young professor's office hours.

She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam."

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

"I mean..." she whispers, "

I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze.

"Anything?"

Anything."

His voice softens.

"Anything??"

"Absolutely anything."

His voice turns to a whisper.

"Would you...study?"

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